Hanging in there.

The Dr keeps re-iterating that the symptoms and side effects are all to be expected and I'm progressing well. This is just one of those times where you've got to try and ride it out. If anyone reading this ever goes through this experience, one piece of advice I'd give is to be a squeeky wheel. Don't suffer in silence and accept how you're feeling. If there's anything they can given you to make you feel even a tiny bit better - ask for it!

I didn't want anyone to visit at all yesterday and hunkered down in my room. I did manage a little walk to the shop in the afternoon and bought some sweets that I couldn't eat! 

I've recently finished Chris Hoy's book and would fully recommend it to anyone. It's a really moving and inspiring account of how's re-framed his terminal diagnosis to enjoy what time he has left with his family.

I've also read the classic Viktor Frankl book - Man's Search for Meaning. Read it. It's an awesome example of finding hope in the bleakest circumstances anyone could imagine - a Nazi Concentration Camp.

Bit heavy I know but I've been mixing it up with light-hearted stuff, watching stand up comedy and binge watching Vikings. Last night's movie was Demolition Man - classic.

I started to feel that I might have peaked and be fully understanding what I'm dealing with now. I'm hopeful I'll start turning the corner soon. Surely there can't be anything else?

A very close friend from work contacted me last night. She was incredible in the first week and took care of everything so I could just concentrate on my treatment. She told me in the immediate aftermath, word had spread and loads of my colleagues had decided to give blood, almost straight away. I was incredibly moved. She also told me that my colleagues had a whip round for my Daughter and bought her a Yoto Player. I'll be able to record bedtime stories for her, to fill one of the voids we have in our normal routine. I was moved to tears. Another example of how incredible people have been.

Mum visited this morning. It gave me a massive boost, even though I couldn't talk much! You just need your Mum at times like this don't you? I was prescribed some liquid morphine and I'm sticking to a liquid diet for the time being. I wonder if I could get some Guinness?

My partner has just been and brought me some supplies. It gave me a huge boost to see her and talk about all the good things we have to look forward to when I come out the other side of this. She's been incredible and, although it's a hugely unconvential start to a relationship, I like to think this will give us an unshakeable foundation to build on.

The mental game has been incredibly challenging lately but, as we moved to the start of week 3 I'm emboldened to think that good things will come of all this and I can find the meaning in the suffering.

"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."

- Friedrich Nietzsche