Freedom

I ran today. Just a mile. Not quickly. But it was the first time in 76 days and it felt good. 

The sun was out and I had the distinct feeling that a corner had been turned. I've started to believe I can be as fit, maybe even fitter than I was before treatment. 

I've been writing less frequently as time has gone on and I've started to feel healthier, partly because there's been less to say about Cyril and partly because I've been busier with normality.

My blood test results have been good. They were expecting my levels to drop and I was told on the 18th of March that it was likely I'd need a transfusion at some point. This simply hasn't happened this time around. I like to think my body has become accustomed to the chemotherapy and the medication and it's fighting back.

As you start to feel more "normal" you almost forget you've got a serious illness. I'll suddenly remember that I'm still in the middle of this battle and I have to remind myself to slow down sometimes. I read a story about a young lad who died from APL when it went undetected for too long and it's a sobering reminder. 

When I went to the hospital back in January I had the typically British attitude that I was probably inconveniencing the busy staff with my symptoms and being a hypochondriac. My advice would be to get checked out if something doesn't feel right. You're not bothering anyone. Early treatment can literally be lifesaving. 

My relatively healthy results have meant a bit more freedom lately. I've been making the most of the weather and had a couple of beer garden visits. I went out for something to eat with my partner, which was another first for a long time. I've been out for a family meal, caught up with friends, spent time with my Daughter and not had to go everywhere wearing a Covid mask. 

I'll be back in again soon for Round 3 of chemo, there'll be more blood tests and biopsies. As a direct result of having APL I lost a career opportunity, I lost time with my loved ones and it cost me my health and fitness. But I gained a new found appreciation of the simple pleasures in life. 

I prefer to see APL as a positive experience and think of what it has given me, rather than what it took away. As with all struggles in life, they become part of who you are and can make you a stronger person. Honestly, right now I feel bullet proof.